When Humpty Dumpty broke, he broke for good. This nursery rhyme has been coming back to haunt him of late.
Humpty Dumpty sets free long forgotten memories, in his mind's eye he sees the big thermocol head he wore in the play and the mosquito that got caught inside and buzzed in and out of his nose. The little boys' convent went rather off track that year and included nursery rhyme characters in the nativity play. Apart from Baby Jesus and his cronies, the manger contained Little Miss Muffet in a scratchy wig mortified at having to play a girl, Jack wearing a bright gauze bandage around his head and groaning with all his might, Jill wasn't there and Humpty stood sneezing, his thermocol head bobbing up and down.
He doesn't remember anything about the play as clearly as he remembers the thermocol rolling off his head and down the stage all the way to the feet of a large man sitting in the front row. It was the mosquito's fault. He couldn't stop sneezing. It was the mosquito's fault, everyone said so yet he couldn't shake off the feeling that he had ruined the play and his heart broke. He cried to his mom that night and she kissed his nose and said that he was a brave boy not to run off the stage. She said she would fix it and she did. He doesn't remember how, but that was mom, she could fix anything.
Mosquitoes swarm around him now too but he hardly notices them. The hot humid summer evening envelopes him thickly and gives him a sickly feeling. Summer is not flowers, summer is not college break and endless bike rides, dips in the sea, summer is like Shelob from Lord of the Rings. She waits in her lair, everyday she circles him hungrily, submerges him in heat, she keeps him awake till he is bleary eyed and weak in the knees from lack of sleep. Summer is visits to the doctor, summer is wondering where God went, where his mom went. Summer is wondering if she would ever be happy again and if he would ever stop being the villain. Suddenly he desperately wants her to fix his world again but he doesn't know how to ask and at any rate she doesn't know how to give.
He hangs over the gate staring into the empty street as day deepens into dusk and Shelob coils around him and there is not a hint of breeze. The mind is beaten back and the heart truly falters for the first time. There always used to be a way to fix things no matter what. He is not so sure now.
All the king's horses and all the king's men.......but what if he can't fix it this time?
P.S - Do check out my book blog, Dust Jacket. I hope you like it!
Monday, February 22, 2010
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
8 comments:
nice... and very insightful. Don't know what else to comment....but well written again.
keep it up :)
“Summer is wondering ...... where his mom went.... Suddenly he desperately wants her to fix his world again but he doesn't know how to ask.”....
These words come back in rounds, in halves and wholes, in staccatos and odd rhythms, when you are a bit quiet and not quite and (foul?) play with you....
There are times when you feel a lump choking your voice...your vision getting blurred .... your childhood memories, dusty and freckled and glued in the yellowish black and white picture postcards of that moth eaten album, suddenly come alive (yeah, almost as Harry Potter would love to have it), the frowns, the giggles, the grimace and all, only to play the spoilsport vanishing doll. Just like Alice’s cat, they vanish but instead of the smile, they leave behind a pervading sadness. Thanks Vaishnavi, for lending a voice to that sadness.
Very intellectual piece:)I like the details you add to an otherwise morbid piece,You've made it a wonderful read with the use of carefully selected words,or so may I say, It comes to you naturally :) lovely:)
Vaishnavi,
We owe it to ourselves as much as to the rest of the world to add to good cheer, not take away from it. Believe me, I have plumbed the depths of darkness in my own mind as well as in all the vastness of world literature, and seen much more evil and baseness than most people commenting here can dream of (I know some of them have lived utterly sheltered and uneventful lives) and come to learn that there is no wisdom in wallowing in sadness. Of course the world is sad - the Buddha's first noble truth - but life and living ought to be all about fighting it with the light and warmth in our hearts, not to wallow in the dark. Do not take this personally, but I have nothing but contempt for those who glorify sadness, especially at the intellectual level: the morbid philosophers have done no good to mankind, but indirectly provoked a great deal of evil (there were Nietschze and Hegel behind Hitler). If you respect me, try hard to look at the bright side of things for a bit. As I told you privately before, you are letting life get you down!
Sir
@avi - :)
@Mr.Kaushik Chatterjee - I probably am still too young to be hit by nostalgia too strongly, but I have some awesome memories (much like anybody else) and they are my favourite things to think about like Julie Andrews from The Sound of Music...they put such a grin on my face! :) Thank you for the comment :) I heard my parents say similar things..
@Pavi - Humpty Dumpty is my favourite but maybe I need to tone down the morbid a bit!
Dear Sir,
Thank you for the comment, some of my posts are a direct reflection of how I feel but only some of them, most are just figments of my imagination or things I see here and there. This particular post came to me as a dream of sorts(I had been singing the rhyme in bed the night before) and I wanted to write it down, so this one was completely out of my head. But you are right Sir, wallowing is simply not acceptable and having done more than my share, I have given myself strict instructions to give it up:) Some of my posts lean towards morbid definitely and I need to change that, I will change that. I love to write stories and they keep forming in my mind, happy ones or sad ones and like I said before they mostly come out of my head. I will not take this personally Sir, you are a teacher and even though I was never a student of yours I am glad of any advice you will give me :) I have tried hard and I really hope I have gone past the point where I let things get me down but if I slip I will try again :)
To Sir again - Thank you so much for your concern, most teachers I have known don't take the trouble to advice someone who hasn't been a student of theirs and I love it that you do! :)
I thank you for the goodness of your heart, Vaishnavi. Most teachers don't like to give advice because far from being thanked for it, they are dismissed or derided as know-alls, and nobody likes that!
This gives me all the more reason to wish and pray for a lot more sunshine in your life... and sunnier posts here!
Sir
Post a Comment